Inconceivable Ice-Cream

I have two weaknesses.  Those two weaknesses are Ice cream, and Oreos.
Me + Ice Cream =

So anyone that knows me knows that I am all about health and nutrition.  Working in a job where I get weighted up to 16 times a day, I am hyper aware of how much I weight at all times.  I am naturally quite light, but I find that if I watch my diet I never have any stress about accidental weight gain, water weight, etc., so I watch it.  I also found that when I eat right, I feel a million times better and notice a huge difference in my athletic abilities.  And yet, I EAT ICE CREAM ALL THE TIME. 

In fact, I'm eating a pint as I write this.  You read that correctly, an entire pint, just for me.

I know.  Now fellow Princess Bride fans I know you're about to get smart with me and say

So allow me to define it for you: INCONCEIVABLE- not capable of being imagined or grasped mentally; unbelievable.

Which I feel is exactly the right word to use when describing the ice creams that I will shortly share with you.

A little background.  As I mentioned, I love ice cream.  I REALLY love it.  In fact, for 2 straight years, I ate it daily.  I refered to it as my daily dose of ice cream and I ate it religiously. An entire bowl full everyday.  I was testing my theory that it was mind over matter, if I believed that ice cream wouldn't make me fat, then it wouldn't.  I also read it had seaweed in it which, was good for you, so theres that logic. Now full disclosure, I didn't have the six pack I have now, I was 25 lbs heavier, and also was 10-12 years old and therefore still blessed with a lovely metabolism.  So the results of said experiment may not be entirely accurate, but I wouldn't say I was fat, so take from that what you will.

Anyways, my point is that I have traveled a lot, and eaten a lot of ice cream along the way.

My personal favorite is still Ben and Jerry's oatmeal cookie and my heart is still broken over the fact that they discontinued it (It is the top most missed flavor in the flavor graveyard though so I know I do not suffer alone.)

Story of my life

Side note, I come from a pint loving family as well.  When my parents were dating, they used to go get a pint of Ben and Jerry's... to share... Which my dad was fine with, but my mom was not (clearly I'm her daughter).  SHE REALLY WANTED HER OWN DAMN PINT.  It was a relationship milestone when she finally told him the necessity of needing a pint all to herself.  I make sure this is a standard I set early in a new relationship.  You gonna judge my ability to down an entire pint in one sitting that's fine, I shall judge your weak ass for not being able to.  (If you sit down with a half gallon you have my ultimate respect.)

As I was saying, I have had Ice cream all over the world.  So before I explain how I fit ice cream into my lifestyle now, I've complied a Top 11 (tried to narrow to 10 but failed) of the most interesting and enjoyable ice cream experiences I had back in my mind over matter stage of dieting.

11.  Have to start with a classic, the Dole Whip of Disney.  

This almost didn't make the cut until I found this picture..

10.  Ghiradelli:  Enough said.  I am a San Fran girl forever and always, so this one is near and dear to my heart, I do miss Ghiradelli square.

9.   Chin Chin Labs: Probably one of the best food places I have ever been to was Camden Market in London. TO DIE FOR.  I picked up some liquid nitrogen ice cream at this little shop, not the best food of the market, but damn.

8. Sams Sunday at Bi-Rite Creamery:  This one's claim to fame was that it was on the show Best Thing I Ever Ate (on Food Network), hence why my family decided we HAD to try it.  Let me just say it earned its spot on that show fair and square.  As the shows website describes it, "made with German cocoa, Bergamot olive oil and Maldon sea salt" Lord have mercy.

7.  The only reason New Hampshire deserves to be a state- LAGOS:  Located in the shitty little town of Hampton, New Hampshire, lies a hidden gem.  If you can stand being eaten alive by mosquitoes it is WELL WORTH IT.  Personal favorite was the cookie monster ice cream.  So good we had someone ship us a few gallons to California when we moved because we missed it so much.  Fun fact is that this shop is owned by the family of Olympic skier Scotty Lago. 

And I have just been informed that this is shit compaired to a place called Slicks in northern NH (by a NH native that agrees with my assesment of Hampton being a spectacularly shitty place), but I cannot personally vouch for this (yet).

6.  CREAM: This wonderful shop originating in the Bay Area literally stands for COOKIES RULE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. Yes. To just say that it is Ice cream between 2 fresh delicious cookies of any flavor you can imagine is an insult to the product.  You have to try it to believe it.

5.  Mangonada:  For those unfamiliar with traditional Mexican food let me explain.  Google defines this magical creation as "A Mexican fruit drink. The drink is typically made with chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, and chili powder and is decorated with a tamarind straw".  No words, just try it, I don't care if it sounds weird it's amazing.  If you are in the Bay Area I always went to United Paleteria y Neveria in San Jose, top notch.

4. Fentons!:  So I thought this was something that they had all over the country and I only learned today that it is yet another solely California thing with only 3 locations... But oh my goodness, and bonus points because you may recognize it from the movie Up!  Fun fact: the reason it is included in Up is because it is near the Pixar headquarters and the employees are regulars at this stellar ice cream parlor.  Fun fact number 2: it is the birthplace of rocky road ice cream.

3. Don't hate on this one if you've never tried it- Garlic Ice Cream at the Gilroy Garlic Festival:  That's right, I've been to the garlic festival and damn straight I tried their famous garlic ice cream.  Not sure I'd go out and buy a pint for fun, but surprisingly good...  It's so high up on this list mainly for its wow factor.

2. Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor:  Dream. Come. True.  I have been there, Harry Potter fans you understand, I can now die complete.  Ice cream itself was nothing special, but I feel that is irrelevant when it is Fortescue's....

1.  BEST FOR LAST- THE VERMONSTER: *hallelujah music plays*  This wondrous creation can only be found at the Ben and Jerry's factory in Vermont and is best described in pictures so here you are.  Possibly one of the greatest moments of my life.

Grandpa understands

Now we move onto how on earth I currently manage to fit ice cream into my healthy lifestyle.  Believe it or not, there are wonderful companies out there that are making 'healthy ice cream'.  While perhaps not the greatest health food, they are low calorie, high protein, relatively low carb, and artificial sweetener free, so I am game.  However these are not all superb, so I have taken the burden of trying almost all of them for you to give you an accurate review of each.

4.  Wink: I start with this because its the only one I haven't actually tried but its on my list, I'm just too cheap to order it and there are no stores that sell it nearby.  However, doing extensive google research, people who liked Arctic Zero ranked this as worse, so my hopes are not high...  And boasting 100 calories per pint it is not hard to imagine why it may not be a very good choice for an ice cream lover.

3.  Arctic Zero: These pints have 150 calories for a normal pint and 300 for a chunky pint.  There are 13 flavors total and I have tried the salted caramel, vanilla maple, cookie shake, chocolate peanut butter, and purely chocolate.  I must say, not my favorite.  Terrible consistency and flavors are rather bland.  Chocolate peanut butter is the most bearable.  However, if in a pinch, 150 calories for a pint satisfies SOME ice cream cravings, but since discovering the next two on the list I haven't been able to eat the last pint in my freezer...

2.  Halo Top:  Probably the most widely advertised of the 'healthy' ice cream companies, and for good reason!!  Made with milk and cream as the number one ingredient and not including any synthetic growth hormones, this ice cream ranges between 240 and 360 calories per pint and has 20 g of protein, and I DO consider this real ice cream!!  Wonderful consistency (though harder than classic ice cream when first removed from the freezer) and AMAZING tastes.  I personally have tried chocolate, mint chip, birthday cake,chocolate chip cookie dough, and cookies and cream.  I am dying to try their oatmeal cookie to compare to my long lost favorite, but alas I cannot seem to find it in stores.  So out of my tests I'd have to say chocolate chip cookie dough takes the cake.  As a carb watcher I do have to plan my day around this because it does have around 70 carbs per pint (unless you subtract fiber, but I do not) and that would be its only real downfall.

1. Enlightened:  NUMERO UNO.  Hands down winner.  Don't get me wrong, I was a solid Halo Top fan, until I found enlightened.  Though slightly higher in calories, ranging from 240 to 400, it is well worth it.  This I honestly can say tastes just like real ice cream.  Even Halo Top has a muted flavor quality that eludes to its lack of calories, but Enlightened does not share that flaw.  Even better, there are 21 flavors.  I have tried triple chocolate, frozen hot cocoa, sea salt caramel, chocolate chip cookie dough,  mint chip, and peanut butter chip.  My ultimate favorite so far is the peanut butter chip, but again there are so many flavors I'm dying to try (again, oatmeal cookie, NEED THIS IN MY LIFE.  Giant really needs to expand its selection).  Literally heaven on earth. If I hadn't just eaten a pint as I wrote this I would be very upset writing this because the temptation would be too great.  They are high protein, high fiber, low sugar and low fat.  Again as a macro tracker, these also have around 70 carbs per pint which is difficult, and the low fat part I also struggle with due to my macro goals, but still, I can meal prep one of these babies in no problem.  Another bonus is they generally pack around 40 grams of protein, almost double Halo Top on most flavors.

Additionally, I don't eat anything with sucralose or aspartame or other sweeteners of that nature, so none of these contain those.

However I have also begun to add in cheat meals (re-feeds actually), so I have had the pleasure to begin testing out some local Harrisburg ice cream spots.  So far I have been to Rita's (slogan is "Ice, Custard, Happiness), which I feel is kind of a PA thing, this dedication to custard?  I got a gelati, which I would've guessed was like gelato, but instead was shaved ice with custard on top which you kind of mix together.  Not what i would've thought of but I enjoyed it!  Next I went to THE spot, 3Bs!  Tucked away in Harrisburg I never would've seen it but clearly it was a local favorite judging by the crowd.  I tested out the buttered pecan and Chocolate Caramel Peanut Butter Brownie, as well as a hot fudge sunday.  Man do I love ice cream....  BTW any locals care to share what the 3 B's are?  My next quest is Rainbow Snow and Ice Cream, recommended to me by a fellow lover of the creamed ice, stay tuned for an update.   I also recently discovered there is such a thing as pizza ice cream in phili, and must add that to the ice cream bucket list.

Now I must share a few additional ice cream stories.

First, ice cream has been a large part of my big life events.  For starters, I found out I was going to be a big sister at Friendly's, over a milkshake.  Because all important announcements need a side of ice cream.

Second, I learned a very important life lesson from ice cream: don't sweat the small stuff. I learned this lesson from my mom at Mt Rushmore.  I had a cone, a gnat flew into my cone, I was distraught, and my mom proceeded to scoop out the chunk with the gnat and eat it.  I was horrified, but years later I deem this to be a perfectly acceptable response.  Teach the child not to be a wuss about bugs (extra protein) and NEVER let anything ruin your ice cream.  Ice cream is sacred.

Third, on a slightly more serious note, ice cream truly does heal the heart and mind.  I spent about 8 weeks living in a hospital, and I'm relatively certain the only reason I got through was thanks to the Olympic Mountain Ice Cream sold in the basement.  Hospital food is horrible, so I am eternally grateful to this company for their delicious ice cream that saved me from insanity on a daily basis.

Forest Understands

Lastly, to finish on a funny note, I present to you one of my favorite stories.  While living in Ohio, my family frequented a Dairy Queen (I always got a vanilla cone, this was back when I didn't like chocolate, such a strange kid I was).  One of these visits, we were sitting enjoying our family ice cream outing and in walks a lady who marches quite purposefully up to the counter and demands to know if their ice cream is firm. The poor baffled teen was clearly not equipped to handle this question so uncertainly told her yes and apparently this was the correct response for this woman.  I cant help but wonder if he had told her that no, their ice cream was more on the droopy side as opposed to firm, if she would've walked out.  Apparently, the firmness of soft serve ice cream is a very important matter!

So to finish up, I would like to say that ice cream is basically the answer to anything.  Celebration, mourning, and even the most awkward of situations, As depicted in one of my favorite movie scenes https://youtu.be/Qk-sX_xwAaw?t=1m7s

You can also tell a lot about a person by their ice cream choices.  

Aaaand just for fun, because, you know, INCONCEIVABLE.

And we always need a good Letter pun.